


Shouldn't find love at a bar

by sometypeofusername



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:14:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28869129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sometypeofusername/pseuds/sometypeofusername
Summary: During her Junior year of college, 21-year-old Toni Shalifoe spends the night drinking downtown with an old friend. Little did she know, she'd meet another familiar face along the way.Mature for later chapters
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 2
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martha and Toni reflect on the island

The last time Toni saw all of the girls was late December- a year after being released from Gretchen's program. Their media presence slowly faded as the world moved onto other things, but Toni stood still. There was a painful hump that she couldn't seem to hike over. For one, the PTSD had worsened her anger issues and provoked alcoholic tendencies. Fortunately, Toni knew how to avoid falling into the same routine as her mother.

Toni graduated high school and went on to attend Minnesota State, where she studied social work. Martha attended the same program and the two friends agreed to share a humble apartment off-campus. Once Martha’s parents found out about Gretchen’s true intentions for the program, it didn’t take long for the lawsuits to pile up. The only families that didn’t sue were Fatin’s and Shelby’s. While Gretchen had a major breakthrough with her research, she lost all of the money she had invested into the islands- followed by an unethical reputation that caused her to go into hiding.

Toni sat down next to Martha and ordered a tall vodka soda, asking her friend if she wanted one, “I’m not drinking right now, it’s finals week and I need to stay sharp.”

Toni laughed as the bartender handed her the drink, “finals…right.”

“Don’t you need to study?”

“Nah, I got this.”

“You know, the 3 year anniversary is coming up,” Martha nudged Toni, who took a sip from her drink before swirling her straw around. “Toni?”

“I don’t really want to talk about that,” Toni replied, coldly.

Martha could tell that Toni had been pulling away lately, and wondered if it had anything to do with the anniversary of the plane crash. She watched Toni’s ice cubes follow behind the thin, black straw as she remembered the last day spent on the island. She remembered how unusually hot the sand was, and how the breeze helped the girls gain their strength back. Martha could hear Rachel’s screams as the girls ran into the water to find her, following the trail of blood that eventually led them to their friend. Martha and Fatin stayed behind, trying to wrap their heads around the situation. Martha turned to her right and saw Toni scrambling to find something- anything- to beat the shark with. The truth was: nobody knew what to do.

“Punch it in the fucking face!” Leah screamed, trying to jump over the waves before they could cover her head.

Toni took one of the sticks that Dot had made for spearing fish and she dove into the waves, trying to remember the best way to swim in the ocean. When her head popped out of the water, she was surrounded by red water, which was starting to fade back into its original color. Her heart was pumping through her chest and if it weren’t for the adrenaline, she was sure that she would have passed out at the sight of the barely-conscious Rachel in front of her. 

“Grab her other arm!” Nora yelled and Toni obeyed, trying to keep the spear in her other hand.

“Where is it?!” Toni asked.

“Where is what?”

“The fucking shark, what the fuck else?” Toni replied but got no answer. The two used the rest of their combined strength to pull Rachel to shore, collapsing next to her.

“Holy shit…” Fatin managed to say.

“She’s bleeding out,” Dot stated and whipped her head around to Martha, “get the ax and hold put it in the fire.”

Martha stood frozen.

“HURRY!”

Martha collected herself and did as she was told, holding the ax into the fire until the iron turned bright orange, “Now what?”

Dot held her hand out to take the ax and she let out a shaky breath. For a moment, she questioned if she could handle this. It wasn’t until she heard the sizzle of a tear falling onto the scolding iron that she finally worked up the nerve to do it.

“Hold her arm out, I have to cut it clean off so we can treat and bandage it.”

“Are you joking? She’s a swimmer, she won’t be able to swim again,” Toni chimed but held the girl’s arm out anyway.

“She’s going to lose it regardless,” Dot said quietly, “but this is what we have to do to save her.”

Nora hovered over her sister and tried to keep her from dozing off too much. Right before Dot made the cut, Shelby stopped her.

“Here,” she handed Dot the alcohol that they got out of Jeanette’s bag, “for the pain and disinfectant.”

“Rachel, drink this.”

Nora held her head up a bit to pour the vodka into her mouth, and Rachel didn’t hesitate to gulp as much as she could before biting down on a shirt that Fatin had prepared.

——————-Later that night——————-

“Thank you for doing that, Dotty,” Fatin whispered. The rest of the group had finally fallen asleep while the other two girls sat around the fire. They agreed to all take turns to stay up to watch Rachel. Dot just nodded, glancing over at their sleeping, injured friend.

“It’s so strange seeing her so vulnerable like that,” Fatin added.

“She’s always been vulnerable. The aggression is a defense mechanism.”

“How does it feel to be a hero, Dot?”

Dot laughed and shook her head, “I only postponed the inevitable. The shark attack was a wake-up call for me.”

Fatin asked her to clarify.

She sighed, “We’re doomed here. Nobody is coming to save us, we’re completely and utterly _fucked_.”

Before Fatin had a chance to reply, the sound of a distant chopper shook the camp. Fatin screamed and Dot laughed, waking the other girls up from their slumber.

“Is that a fucking-“

“Helicopter!” Leah cheered, stumbling to her feet.

“Thank you, good lord. You have done it once again!” Shelby beamed with her hands in the air. Toni ran over to pull her into a tight hug, swinging each other around before letting go.

Without thinking, Shelby took Toni’s cheeks in her palms and pulled her in for a sweet, celebratory kiss.

“I fucking knew it!” Fatin clapped, “I’m _truly_ a love doctor.”

——————————————————————————————

Martha shook herself out of her thoughts and put her hand on Toni’s, who looked up from her glass. She had tears in her eyes, but an expressionless face. Martha knew that she was reliving the last day as well, and comforted her with a hug. She pulled away and gave into ordering a cocktail.

“I thought you weren’t drinking?” Toni asked.

“Let’s have fun tonight. We’re financially stable for the first time in our lives-“

“-Thank you to trauma-inducing Gretchen.”

“-and we’re here, together.” Martha held her glass up, Toni doing the same.

“To surviving?” Toni asked.

“To surviving.”


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend in town

Toni leaned into Martha’s ear, “Okay, bitch. It’s karaoke night and I want to see _YOU_ up on that stage.” They relocated to one of the corner tables once the room started filling up with people (mostly their age, they assumed). Toni suddenly wanted another drink.

“ _Hell_ no.”

Toni laughed and her eyes drifted to the bar that was sat in the very center of the room; it had a growing crowd of people surrounding it. Toni wondered how the bartenders could handle so much noise without flipping a table. The thought of that made her giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Martha asked, bobbing to the music. Considering she was a dancer, she was quite off beat.

“So what song are you singing?” Toni teased again. Martha pushed her arm and stood up from her chair.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom, watch our drinks?”

Toni nodded and pulled Martha’s drink closer to her. She pulled a pen out of Martha’s purse and put the cap in between her teeth, beginning to engrave letters into the table.

**Fuck you, Gretche**

Before she could finish, Toni was startled by a very familiar voice. _Accent_. Out came Martha, locking arms with Shelby Goodkind. Toni dropped the pen and tentatively greeted her old friend. She feared that Shelby wouldn’t recognize her- wouldn’t share the same memories.

“How have you been? It feels like a lifetime since I’ve seen you girls,” Shelby gleamed.

“I know, I missed you.” Martha returned the smile. They both looked over at Toni, expecting her to say something. Toni shrugged after Martha stood up to go to the bar and buy another round.

“I’m fine.”

“Fine…is better than bad?” Shelby nudged her gently, “the worst has already happened, right?”

Shelby winked and Toni fought back a smile, failing, “Whoever told you that must’ve been a real genius.”

Martha interluded, “who told you what?”

She distributed their drinks and sat back down. Shelby ordered a vodka cranberry, Martha a mojito, and Toni a White Claw.

“Never pegged you as a white claw girl,” Shelby smirked, making Martha laugh in agreement.

“And when I think of Miss America, I don’t picture a lesbian in a nightclub.”

Shelby looked offended for a moment before the smile returned to her face.

“I’m only Miss Texas, so the standards aren’t as high.”

Toni shrugged and sipped her beer before replying in her Shelby impression, “ _whatever you say,_ _darlin_ ’.”

Toni saw the hint of a blush on the blonde’s cheeks as she quickly went back to sipping her drink. Toni realized that Martha was still sitting right there and cleared her throat in response. Luckily, her friend was pretty distracted by the karaoke duet in the front of the room. Toni could hear Martha say something about how cute the duet was, but her attention was fixated on the girl across from her. She began remembering how _loved_ Shelby made her feel; From saving her life, to helping her realize that she’s _good_ inside- that she’s not just some hotheaded orphan. All Toni wanted was to tell Shelby that she was studying social work and trying out for the university’s basketball team.

“I think I’m close to my nightcap, guys,” Martha yawned, gathering her things.

“Are you shitting me?” Toni asked, “What happened to the anniversary celebration?”

“I’ll bake a cake for breakfast-”

“I can’t eat cake,” Toni said- a little sterner than she intended. She added softly, “…cookies?”

Martha laughed, “Shelby, you should join us.”

Shelby’s face flushed and she scratched her head, “Uhhh…not to offend anyone, but I’m not really into that sort of thing.”

“You don’t fuck with dessert for breakfast?” Toni asked.

“Joining you on your anniversary…? I love you both but I don’t want to have a three-”

“No- Shelbs,” Martha interrupted, “it’s _the_ anniversary.”

“ _The…_?”

“The fucking island, Shelby,” Toni explained.

Shelby closed her eyes and sighed, “I know it’s today. Why do you think I ran into you at a bar?”

Toni watched and listened to Shelby catch them up with her life. She graduated high school with honors and got an academic scholarship to the University of Texas, she won _bravest beauty_ alongside Dot (Nora had said before that the only good rewards to come from the experiment were the _benefits of sympathy_ ). She was quickly gaining popularity in the pageant community and began earning herself spots in bigger competitions. Thus, leading her to the crown of Miss Texas.

“I thought you gave all that shit up? Isn’t that what caused your infamous Britney breakdown?”

“I’m doing it because I’m good at it.”

“That’s the only reason?” Martha asked kindly.

“I’m still working through some stuff,” Shelby answered, “but even though I have a love/hate relationship with pageants, they still provide a decent income.”

“Well if you’re happy, I’m happy,” Martha smiled and hugged the taller girl, “I have to go, but hopefully we will see you tomorrow?? Love you guys.”

“Love you too!” Shelby waved.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date

Shelby stirred her lime around in her drink and spoke up, ending the briefly-awkward silence between them.

“So, have you been avoiding all of the girls, or just me?”

Toni’s gave Shelby a look of guilt, but shook it off, “not avoiding, exactly. It’s hard to keep in touch with people who don’t live in the same state.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Shelby answered, “I just felt like you were pulling away from me.”

“I thought the same about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Toni confirmed, squeezing her White Claw can to display its emptiness, “I mean, you kind of did. You stopped replying to the group chat and when I reached out to you, you never replied.”

“Toni...”

Toni kept going, “and don’t get me wrong- group chats are fucking annoying. But we were all so close...you and I were so close.”

Shelby paused to think for a moment, it was almost like she was afraid to speak. She worked up to courage to say what was on her mind- the truth behind her absence.

“My parents sent me to an inpatient treatment center.”

Toni sat back in her chair, “like a psych ward?”

“Pretty much.”

“Why?”

Shelby let out a breathy laugh and leaned in closer, “My whole life was consumed by beauty pageants and I come home with a shaved head and footage of me having sex with another girl.”

“Oh shit...” Toni started, “did they film that?”

“The entire island was bugged. After everything went public about Jeanette and Rachel’s hand, my parents wanted to see  everything that went down.”

“Wow, that’s embarrassing.”

“You think?” Shelby sighed, “I had to blame the fact that we were on a desert island and I needed to some comfort.”

Toni went from empathizing with Shelby, to feeling offended. It wasn’t something she was proud of, and a little bit of her “old self” was starting to shine through.

“Is that all it was to you? An experiment..or purely reassurance?”

Shelby smiled sweetly and stood up to get two more drinks. This time, she brought back 2 tequila shots and 2 White Claws.

“Shots, huh? What’s the occasion, rejecting me?” Toni joked, but there was a hint of insecurity in her tone.

“Who says I’m rejecting you?”

Toni rubbed her neck- a new nervous habit that she developed. Originally, it was her way of dealing with the sunburns from the island. She’s wear her hair up so often that the sun would perfectly hit the back of her neck. Sometimes she wonders if she’s more susceptible to getting skin cancer. The thought of that scared her.

“Besides,” Shelby continued, “I don’t want our one date on the island to be our only date.”

Toni laughed and reminisced about the date she planned for Shelby. 

————————————————-

The girls had their secret little spot that was a bit further than the lychee tree, hidden behind a few tall bushes. There was a little patch of overgrown grass that Toni cleared out with the ax- which was a lot more work than she thought it’d be, but Shelby was worth it.

Toni gathered a towel from Fatin’s bag and discretely gathered a few things to “pretty it up”.

She asked Shelby to help pick more lychees for the group and ended up leading her to the spot, where a picnic awaited her.

“Toni...when did you set this all up?” Shelby asked.

Toni turned to face her and put her arms out, “it’s a date! Ever since Dot said that thing about your boyfriend back home being a dickhead, I’ve wanted to help you realize what love really feels like.”

Toni froze and quickly added, “not like  love love because that’s mushy shit, I mean-“

“It’s wonderful, Toni,” Shelby cut her off and closed the gap between them. She wrapped her arms around the shorter girl’s neck and leaned in for a kiss. Short, but with more meaning than ever before.

“I’m glad you like it. It’s not exactly my style.”

“What is your style?”

“Like, a getting drunk and going to the movies. I’m not good at small talk so liquid courage and distractions is the perfect setting.”

“Does this count as small talk?”

Toni smirked, “so how’s the weather in Texas?”

“Hot as always....” Shelby soon caught onto Toni’s joke, “oh, I see what you did there.”

Toni smiled and motioned toward the towel, “should we sit?”

“Sure.”

The two girls spent an hour talking about their past, what they wanted to do once they get home, and anything they could think of to get to know each other better.

“You know, perks of dating on the island is that a day here is basically a week back home,” Shelby said.

“What do you mean?”

Shelby explained, “well people don’t typically hang out with their boyfriend or girlfriend 24/7. Maybe a few ours daily, so we get to squeeze a week into one day.”

“I’d get so fucking sick of myself, I don’t know how you do it,” Toni admitted.

Those words brought a pain to Shelby’s chest and all she wanted was to show Toni that she was  so much stronger than she thought she was. She was too hard on herself.

“Toni, you’re the first person since...” she hesitated, then changed her mind, “since forever, that makes me feel safe.”

It was a lie, but not really. She had feelings for someone before- similar to how she felt about Toni. She hadn’t told anyone about what happened with Becca. She left people with their own assumptions.

“Well I like to fight, so I make a great body guard.”

“Not only that though, I’m just not afraid that you’ll judge me, or hurt me.”

Toni asked her if that was what she was so afraid of- of being torn down. She started to put the pieces together: cheating boyfriend, religious as fuck, hateful parents, maybe. Toni didn’t want to pry, so she decided to let Shelby tell her on her own time.

“I’d never. I’ve dealt with so many shitty people in my life Shelby, and you are so far from being that.”

________________________

“I’ll take you on a date. On a real date.”

Shelby smiled at Toni’s proposal and she reached across the table to put her hand over Toni’s. They both felt the wonderful flutter of butterflies, “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too.”


End file.
